Investigation of Mathematics and Computer Science Department Rumored

Word has it that the Justice Department and Office of Homeland Security are investigating rumors that terrorist activity may be afoot among the mathematics faculty. They are suspected of secretly building Weapons of Math Instruction.

Teacher Arrested
From George Seaman
At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, an FBI spokesperson said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," the spokesman said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, one of the arresting officers said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[ As Read on Car Talk ]

Authentic Assessment: http://scout.wisc.edu/addserv/NH/98-10/98-10-21/0028.html

Delta College: http://www.delta.edu/assessmt/humor.html